Abigail woke up from her nap yesterday with soft songs coming through the monitor. I listened for a few minutes and then climbed the steps to her bedroom. When I opened the door her boundless energy began pouring out.
'Mama I awake. I took a biiiiiiiig nap. I hungwy. Where's Papa? I gonna watcha Pudue wis Papa nother gain.'
I layed down next to her and kissed her face. She moved away, 'No sank you Mama.' So I rolled over top of her and declared, 'steam roller!' She giggles and steam rolled me. After determining I was 'flat like a pancake' she poured syrup on top and ate me. The giggles continued to flow out of her as I wiggled and begged her not to eat me.
After she got up we made our beds and I sat in the rocking chair in our bedroom. I turned on some music and for the next twenty minutes Abigail danced. She twirled and jumped, curtsied and skipped. And I sat quietly and drank it all in.
Sometimes I feel like I just can't get enough of her. Her beautiful face, her curly hair, her big brown eyes, and eyelashes that go on forever. I am completely mesmerized by her, and just get lost in her beauty. I can't believe that she's my daughter. How did I end up with someone so wonderful as her.
She giggles as she sways and declares, 'Mama watch dis.' I watch. I stare. I don't want to miss a moment of it. I feel like I can see her getting bigger as she dances, those moments of toddlerhood are passing before my eyes. I don't want to look back and feel like I wasted them cleaning my house or rushing her along.
It's good to be reminded of those things, so when you are awake at 5 a.m. changing sheets because your three year old has her first stomach flu, you don't see the work and the sickness. You see a little dancer who needs to be nursed back to health, because her audience misses her dances. So you diligently scoop her up and do everything you can to make it all better. And this time she doesn't say no thank you as you kiss her soft skin all over and 'swuggle' her. She just melts in your arms and you pray over and over again that she will return to dancing soon.