Monday, December 29, 2014

he is here.

because our children don't do things in any sort of easy fashion....

Asher Toviah arrived on December 27th at almost 7 p.m.  six hours from home.  via emergency c-section.  he weight 3 lbs and 13 oz and was 17-1/2 inches long.  he had some severe IUGR.  he was born at 36 and 1/2 weeks.  i'll write the whole story out at some point, but for now, he's in the NICU working on growing.  i'm recovering from a C-section.  we are six hours from home, and thankful for family who is caring for big and little. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

if you could do anything....

there's an age old question that comes around on occasion.  'if you could do anything in the world, and money wouldn't matter, what would you do?'  I used to think long and hard about this question, often feeling like a failure for not doing the great things that I would really like to be doing.
a few weeks ago, this question came across my path again.  suddenly, the guilt and feeling of failure was gone.  it was clear, if I could do anything, and money didn't matter, I would still be doing this. 
even on hard days, long days, and days where i'm vastly aware of being in a hard phase of parenting, I would still do this.  on days where I go to bed and wonder if anything I've done that day was right, or kind, or remotely resembled even mediocre parenting, this would still be what I choose.
it's not because it's glamorous.  I don't make any money for what I do.  I won't even throw out the (cheesy) line about getting paid in hugs and kisses.
it's only because this is where I know i'm supposed to be.  my great talents go completely unrecognized and unappreciated by those they are being poured out on the most.  the world may completely discount the value in reading 'dooby, dooby, moo' over and over again.  but, still, if I could be doing anything in the world, and money didn't matter, this is what I would choose.