Monday, May 24, 2010

The woman who gave our daughter life.

Abigail blowing on a stick (that was obviously hot) at the park.

In the beginning of our adoption Abigail's tummy mommy had chosen to receive letters and pictures from us, and that was all she wanted. It's always such a mixed feeling because I want Abigail to know her family, but also felt (secretly) relieved at not having to try to navigate the messiness of openness in adoption.
None the less, we continued to let her mom know that if she ever wanted more contact to let us know. So at Christmas we saw Abigail's mom and dad for a few minutes and they gave her some presents. Since then she has called a few times, which hadn't happened since before Abigail was born.
So yesterday I decided that I would call and ask her to come along to a picnic/playing at the park outing. She said yes. It was truly wonderful to sit with her. She interacted with Abigail, but mostly Jason and Abigail played while V and I sat and talked about life. Oh how I have missed her. She can weave words into a story and you just want to sit and listen for hours. I love her voice, and terms she uses that we don' "falling out" instead of throwing a fit. I love her smile and laugh. I soaked in the compliments of how great of a daddy Abigail has, how good of a kid she is, and how she thinks we are great parents. I can live on that for a while.
I hope as the summer roles on we can do a few more things like this. My favorite part of the night was when Abigail, V, and I were sitting on a bench together and she looked at me and said, "mama" and then looked at V and said, "mama." Abigail has two mama's. And looking back through the pictures we took I can see that V's love for Abigail radiates from her face as she is looking at Abigail. I can't think of another woman that I want to be more like, or that I hope my daughter can be like.

Abigail with both of her mamas.

Thankful for a family that extends beyond biological,


  1. wow andrea. i don't know what to say other than that you guys are amazing and your heart and love is truly overwhelming. thank you for sharing this.

  2. i can't figure out what to say. it really touched me, the relationship you describe with V. acknowledging her love for abigail, and being able to celebrate it is a gift. it's funny how these parenting journeys take us into a family that extends across time zones, borders, and language.