update: they are attempting to extubate one more time before giving the go ahead with surgery. ideally she would be bigger (and have a bigger heart) before they operate. but if extubation fails, then we will be put on the schedule for surgery. she has fluid around her lungs today as well so they will be putting in a chest tube to drain it this afternoon.
i did get to hold her for about 45 minutes yesterday. this is the first time i have held her in a month. it was SO nice to have the weight of her in my arms. she desated and stayed in the 50-60 range so i don't know that it was great for her oxygen levels, but it was good for both of us none the less. the chest tube will mean that we won't be able to hold her again until that is out (chest tubes are EXTREMELY painful).