Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Nothing for granted
Abigail laying on the pillow some kind stranger gave us after they read her story in the paper.
I need to pick up toys, load the dishwasher, and read a chapter for tonight's book study. However I also need to write, because I have a few things in my head and heart that need to come out before I can think clearly again.
I HATE having to call offices, insurance people, and anything to due with Abigail really. Most of the time I have had positive experiences, but the bad ones have been big enough that calling often makes me feel a bit anxious. Yesterday morning I had to call the doctors office to ask a question. I wasn't sure whether or not they needed to see Abigail. When I called I got the woman who apparently thought I was an idiot and curtly told me "we can't just diagnose her over the phone." I stayed calm and told her I didn't want a diagnoses I wanted to know if the doctor thought she needed to come in or not.
Abigail is also on a state run insurance program for children with special needs. Everyone I have ever talked to there has been beyond kind. I feel like if I'm having a hard day I could probably just call and someone there would listen and cry with me (I have never done this). So yesterday when I had to call with a question about paperwork I was a little taken back out how rude and unkind the woman was. I told her I had a question and before I could ask she started telling me about due dates and how it was my responsibility to make sure things got in on time. They aren't even late. I don't know why she found the need to give me a lecture. I really wanted to tell her what the past week has been like for me and ask her if she thought she could muster up some kindness for a few minutes. I didn't though.
So this morning I took the paperwork to the department of family services to fax it. I had just left a business giving a donation for the upcoming fundraiser we are doing. I was feeling pretty good really. After all the papers got faxed we were walking out and an older woman stopped us. She wanted to tell me her story, and I felt impatient because Abigail had a dentist appointment. I smiled politely as she kissed Abigail's hand and told me her daughter had lazy eye and had gotten glasses at six months old. She then went on to tell me that her daughter had passed away at fourteen. The tears were streaming down her cheeks as she told me that it had been hell losing her, and the anniversary was coming up. She then went on to talk about no matter how much they whine, cry through teething, and act up that I should enjoy it all. She looked at me for a few seconds, and I told her that we don't take any minute we have with her for granted. We think she is wonderful, and know that we aren't always promised a future. I thought she was going to follow me to the car.
After I buckled Abigail in I sat there for a few seconds attempting to not cry before we moved on to our next appointment. The past week I have been constantly reminded of how uncertain our future is. I hope that I am never on the side that this wonderful woman is, but I hope even more that no matter where life leads us I will remember that God has gifted us with each day and to be thankful for it.
To end a little lighter our dentist appointment went wonderful. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but we go to a pediatric dentist and we LOVE him. Dr. Jeff is funny, great with kiddos, and just always has something encouraging to say. Abigail usually cries through her teeth getting cleaned, but as soon as it's over she sits up and waves at everyone smiling really big. Then one of the hygienist takes her hand and allows her to pick out 20 toys and all of the other hygienist tell her how cute she is as she walks by. Today though Dr. Jeff told us that her teeth were very healthy and that he wished some of his other patients did as well taking care of their teeth as we do. I wanted to grab the man and hug him. I didn't expect anything horrible from a dentist appointment, but our last few visits to doctors have wielded bad news. This felt like a win, and even if it's a small win, we'll take it!
Rejoicing in the day the Lord has made,