Okay first I need to start by telling you the title is a quote from Kelle Hamptom. She has a blog, but I have no idea how to link you to it. Plus she's a photographer and her blog is way cooler than mine so I don't know if I want to link you to it.
We got Abigail's orthotics yesterday. They are cute, and she likes her new butterfly shoe's. But, they will make her different (not that she isn't already). They aren't extremely noticeable inside of her tennis shoes. However as she wears tennis shoes all summer long, and with dresses, they will stand out a little more.
Abigail in her orthotics.
As I've mentioned before this makes me a little sad. I think one of the things I keep thinking about is Easter. I love getting her an Easter dress, and having her all dressed up. And this year her Easter dress won't be accompanied by her sweet brown mary janes, but by her white tennis shoes with the pink Nike emblem. And by some blue orthotics with butterflies that rise slightly above the shoes on the side. I have been a little sad about this for a while. I haven't dwelled on it much, but have just had the passing thoughts of her sticking out on Sunday morning while all the other little girls wear cute little dress shoes.
A closer view.
On top of this yesterday was a hard day. A friend e-mailed to let me know that when they went for her twelve week pregnancy check-up that they found out the baby had passed away. It was heartbreaking to me. Her and her husband came over last night to get out of the house for a while. We went for a walk, laughed at Abigail, and spent time talking about lots of things.
At the end of the night the house was a mess. Everything from dinner was still on the table. Abigail's toys were laying around, there were toothbrushes and hairbrushes laying out in the bathroom. I sat down at the computer and saw that Kelle had posted a new blog.
Kelle has a daughter with down syndrome. As I read her post last night it resonated with my soul. The quote in the title "what is it about different that makes us think it's not perfect?" made tears come to my eyes. Yesterday felt like a day of "different."
But at the end of the day Abigail will look perfect on Sunday morning. She will be happy to wear her new dress. She won't know that her shoes don't exactly go with her outfit. She like her tennis shoes because we put bells on them to keep the strings tied.
And my house. It felt way less than perfect. But yesterday went a little "different" than I could have planned for. And the fact that I went to bed with an incredibly messy house is perfect because I spent time grieving with our friends who are grieving. That is much more important than supper dishes.
So one other quote from Kelle's blog that went along with this: "And so we strive not for perfection (although our imperfection is what is so perfectly perfect to me), but for color." I want my life to be full of color. Full of Abigail's giggles, dancing, and doing the hokey poky to worship music at church. I want it to be full of friends who know that we will drop everything to come alongside them if they need us. I want it to be full of both laughter and tears. That is the only thing that brings color to life, and makes us different, and it's perfect.