Monday, January 11, 2010

Whatever may come

I don't dream of having my child be normal. Probably because I have never quite fit into that category. I'm a little socially awkward, and few people get my humor. So this post is not about how much I long for Abigail to be like the other boys and girls her age. It's about far more than that.

This morning Abigail and I were playing with her ball together. We take turns throwing it, and when I try to get it she giggles and squeals. It's a lot of fun. I asked her to kick the ball. She is not quite big enough to understand this concept. So I tell her to get it with her toes. As I watch her try I started to get teary eyed. Oh the determination. She did manage to touch the ball with her foot.

It's just that in watching her go through physical therapy for two weeks, and working on exercises at home I have become painfully aware of things that don't do what they should. As far as everyone else can see Abigail has met all of her milestones. If you go through a checklist of what cognitively and physically a 16 month old should do you could check all of them off.

However as I have said before, her legs don't quite do what they should. Hopefully when we get the x-ray of her spine and pelvis we will be able to determine more of what is going on. But watching her try to do things sometimes breaks my heart. Her happy easy going personality does not get very frustrated. She just tries until she gets it. But I want her body to work like it is supposed to.

None the less my sweet bug reminds me of how to experience joy. Whenever she gets a bubble with her foot, or kicks the ball...she smiles, claps and says yeah! Almost like she is reminding me "See mama, you just need to be proud of me. You just need to tell me good job."

I know that God is sovereign and works in ways that are far beyond anything I could ever understand. I also know that her personality goes perfectly with everything she has been through and will go through in her life. Jason and I will continue to ask God to touch her little body and heal it. Whatever may come though we will cheer her on!

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