I have a lot on my mind. Things are sort of scattered so you will have to bear with me. First of all Abigail's x-rays came back normal. Which is great. I still don't know what it going on with her leg/hip region though and that is frustrating to me. However we will move forward and see what else the therapist suggest. We are getting ready to start some kinesio taping for her abdominal muscles. I am hoping it helps some.
Second I have been thinking a lot about Haiti. I also have been thinking about a certain public figure for Christianity who says stupid things on television about why bad things happen. He makes me so angry. I think he should be banned from speaking. Honestly at this point it doesn't matter "why" there was an earthquake. It matters only that there was one. There is massive devastation. Survivors need things like clean water, food, and shelter. We as Christians need to be stepping up and loving these people through prayers, donating resources, and going to Haiti. That's what the Bible calls us to do. Love people. It does not call us to stand in a better than you position and point fingers when bad things happen.
Third I am starting to get the "So are you ready for another?" question. Let me clarify. I don't want anyone to ask me this. No one. I hate that when we were dating everyone asked when we would get married. And once we were married we immediately started getting questions about babies. So now that we have one everyone is asking about two. Guess what. We don't always have to be focused on the future. We can enjoy living here with one for the time being. However I will share a little more of where this thought has taken me and why I probably feel so annoyed about it right now.
I am a middle child. I have an older sister and younger sister. My younger sister is 10-1/2 months younger than me. Soooooo.....if you aren't great at math...my mom got pregnant six weeks post my birth. I loved having a sibling that close to me. We were best of friends growing up. I wanted my children to be close in age. I have no control over that really. So when people ask me it just bums me out.
Another part of this train of thought is that I am starting to feel ready to do baby again. However I in no way feel like it is God's timing. So there is this sort of beginning of longing happening that I know needs to wait. And I remember vividly how much waiting for Abigail hurt. So I'm not looking forward to that.
And even more with this train of thought has been how frustrated I am at things people say about pregnancy. Like using the word "surprise" to describe being pregnant. Unexpected maybe. Surprise...well aside from Mary (Jesus' mother) I can think of nobody who can be 100% surprised that they are pregnant. We all know that no birth control is guaranteed. Even people who have surgical procedures are not guaranteed no more pregnancies. So if you have a uterus and you are having sex, there is the possibility of pregnancy.
And then there are people around me who constantly complain about pregnancy. I have talked before about the fact that we have not been devastated about not having biological children. This does not mean that I don't still wonder what it's like to feel a life growing inside of you, or to wholly nourish your child for the first few months of life. There are part of pregnancy that I am sad I don't get to experience. So when I hear people talk about how horrible it is I want to ask them to kindly find someone who has also experienced pregnancy to talk to because the only words I have for them are just be thankful that you get to experience this miracle. Oh and definitely, definitely do not complain about giving up drinking alcohol for nine months. Seriously I can't remotely understand how this is a "hard" thing when it comes to the well being of the miracle growing inside of you.
That was it. My meandering thoughts for the night. Peace.