For quite some time I have logged people saying this odd thing. When my grandmother died people kept saying that she was better off now, not feeling anymore pain, and in heaven. All I could think was that's stupid. She is dead and I want her to be here with me. I never fully understood the idea of a new body, and no more pain. I didn't even really like it because it's just ambiguous.
So before Abigail was born our friends had a beautiful little girl who passed away shortly after birth. It was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. At some point after I remember one of them saying that she wasn't in pain and had a new body and was in heaven. I got that same feeling I had before. I don't like that idea because I would rather she be here with you guys. I didn't tell them that, but I felt it.
So the season of advent (before Christmas) is a season of looking forward. We look forward to the birth of Christ (although it already happened) and celebrating God walking among men. We also look forward to the return of Christ. The time when He will make all things right. I haven't ever dwelt upon this idea much, but this year it was something that wouldn't leave my mind.
You see this crazy thing happened in May. The day we found out about Abigail having NF we were driving home. My mind was going over things a hundred times. Things like my daughter will probably have tumors. My child could die from this. If she becomes deformed in any way life will be really hard for her. Then this thought crossed my mind. It was one that had never been comforting to me until that day. "One day Abigail will have a new body, no more pain, no more sorrow."
It was such a peaceful feeling for a moment. To think one day my daughter will be in heaven. I don't want it to happen for a long time. But to think that some day she won't have to deal with her spots and freckling, worrying about tumors and cancer. She won't be made fun of for looking different. She won't have to go to numerous doctors appointments. She will only feel the peace and happiness of being with Jesus. That is comforting.
So this season of advent has brought me to a place of truly longing for the day of Christ return. This season of our life has been marked with appointments, worrying, and wondering what the future holds. I know that it is because of man's sinful nature that the world is in a place where disease, wars, drugs, sorrow, and pain are taking over...or it feels that way. We are a people who are depraved. We need a savior to rescue us from our depravity.
And here on earth even if you know the Savior, you still feel the pain and heartache that comes with sin. There is pain and sorrow and death. But some day there will be none of these things. Some day I won't have worry, or headaches or sleepless nights. Someday my husband won't be dealing with finances and mowing the yard. Some day my little girl will know only the good things. And for that day I am longing.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God himself with be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."