Tuesday, May 7, 2013

a pursuing papa.

shilo has a preference.  some may refer to it as a slight obsession.  she only wants her mama.  i can be literal feet away from her while papa is holding her, and there will likely be tears, and an attempt to leap from his arms towards me.

attempting to reach mama.

when she finally is back in my arms she gives me a hug, then sits up and smiles.  repeat around ten times.  two minutes. two hours.  doesn't matter.  she missed her mama.

shilo's elated smile when returned to mama.

this would make sense if jason was a horrible papa.  but, he isn't.  he loves snuggling.  and she hasn't always felt like this.  it was an all of a sudden one day thing, where she decided that she really only wanted mama.  when he kisses her goodnight, she turns away.  if he tries to put her down for bed, she cries before he ever makes it up the steps.  she. just. wants. mama.

as this scene was playing out for the billionth time the other day, i had a moment where i was reminded of another Papa like this.  no matter how much shilo cries, turns away, and searches out someone else to fulfill her needs, her papa will continue to hold her while she cries, and meet those needs.  she doesn't understand this yet, but with time, she will.
no matter how much i mess up, fall short, and try to pursue something other than my Papa, He will continue to hold me and love me.  we have been all over the place in the last year, God and i.  i have been super angry.  baffled.  bitter.  unbelieving.  disheartened.  through it all, He continued to be right there.  He held me even though i cried about it.  He listened to me even though He wasn't the one i really wanted to talk to.  He stayed right there pursuing me.
i'm pretty thankful for the amazing earthly example that i get to see of my husband loving my daughters, the way God loves us.

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