mid-novemeber in indiana, often finds one feeling bitterly cold. today, that was not the case. it was nice enough this afternoon that sweatpants and a sweatshirt sufficed to keep all warm, big and little, out in the sun.
sundays can feel a little hard for me right now. in an effort to stay clear of the germs of the season, i keep both girls home with me (because even if abigail gets something, shilo is getting it too). i like church. i like watching abigail run around with her friends. i like getting to talk to other grown-ups. i love the music, and listening to our pastor passionately talk about the Bible. i love the meal every sunday offered to all. i love the community i'm part of. and so, right now, i often find myself sort of feeling down on sundays. it's just the day that leads up to the start of another week of therapies and appointments, to do list, and knowing i'm going to fall short.
but today, today shilo got to have three healthy meals pushed through her g-tube. she had a whole day with no formula. and then to really show off her awesome, she rolled from her belly to back by herself for the first time. oh yeah, and then she did it about fifty more times like she has always been doing this. and this afternoon, she was fussy during nap. and jason and abigail were already outside. so i snuggled her on the couch, and she slept on me. my arm fell asleep. there were toys strewn everywhere, dishes to be done, and my heart reminding me how quickly this went the first time around, and beckoning me to stay, and hold on the a little for as long as i can. so i did.
when she awoke, she wiggled and looked up, and crinkled those almond eyes, and grinned that wide, open mouth grin, and made every thing not yet done, seem to not matter. we joined big and papa outside. they were digging the last of the potatoes and onions. big cheered every time they found one. shilo rolled around on a blanket. and i tried to capture some parts on camera.
the night ended with putting away laundry, too loud music, dancing big, rolly little, and little house in the big woods. when all was quiet upstairs, i still had lots of catch up to do. so i picked up, tucked away, threw away, washed up, and thought. in the background was my favorite music. peaceful. calming. and full of praise. and i stood there, praying, hoping, that days like today are forged in my children's memories, more than my moments of impatience; that when abigail grows up, she will have an image of me listening to soft music, and cutting up pineapple in the kitchen. and that she too will remember days like today, as being perfect.
thankful for perfect sundays, and time as a family.