Thursday, September 27, 2012

in which my boot strap breaks, and i do not.

(we've been reading some of the classic stories from winnie the pooh.  hence the title of this post).

i love organization.  i would love to get things to fill every corner of my house that has randomness strewn about.  i can't afford it, so we do it a little at a time instead.  it doesn't stop me from trying though.
some of my organization is necessary to keep things from falling apart here.  if it weren't for meal planning, we would likely be grabbing something quick every night (which is super hard to do gluten free, and doesn't fit in our 'living within our means' goals).  i even have a board that has my 'who is doing what chores daily'.  it fell to the wayside around the time shilo was born, but last week we jumped back in.  full swing baby.  i fulfilled my things every day.  big. fat. check. mark.
and this week.  well, despite my attempt to pull myself up by my bootstraps last week (and being somewhat successful), my strap broke.  i napped during the girl's naptime. i became overwhelmed so i just pretended the board didn't exist for a few days.  and any other time this has happened in my life, i have immediately realized that i am a failure. some other mom out there has way more going on than me, and manages to keep her house immaculate.
but, i'm not a failure this time.  because the board forgot to tell me to run the circle in my house with a giggling four year old (while kicking toys out of the way to keep from falling).  it forgot to mention that i should lay next to shilo on the floor and smile in the mirror at her to watch her respond with her toothless, wiggles, and girns.  it forgets that my children are growing quickly, and if i spend all my time cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, and making perfect meals, that i will miss out on a lot.  a lot, a lot.
the board also doesn't recalculate itself when shilo pukes for the tenth time in four hours, and i loudly sigh as i attempt to catch it, and respond to 'can i have a piece of gum?' at the same time.  it forgets to be graceful on days when a papa leaves before anyone else is up, and isn't home until the girls are in bed (and mama feels so overwhelmed she sits on the couch eating annie's snicker doodle bunnies dipped in vanilla icing instead of folding laundry).
do you know what happened when my boot strap broke, and i didn't?  my house stayed mostly clean.  my dishes are still getting done.  laundry is still being done.  and i feel less stressed about it all.  i think my kids might even pick up on my peacefulness a little more.
i'm not great at finding balances in things.  i am often too hard on myself for not doing enough (fill in the blank with the millions of things i should be doing) with my children.  and at the end of the day, i'm realizing that choosing between cleaning and spending time with my husband is often going to have me sitting on the couch sharing stories of the day, and listening to him laugh as he reads one of his favorite blogs (we can pretend it's mine, but i'm not a witty sports writer so it's really not).
i'll take unvacuumed floors with lots of laughter, thank you very much.  oh, and with lots of fun pictures of our family as well.
she's ornery.  do not be fooled.

playing the piano.

candid abigail moment.

papa snuggling little.

mama and her girls.

abigail fooches.

she is mesmerizing.

ballet class.

a fluffy dress is perfect for bike riding.

pretty eyes.

my sister won't. stop. touching. me.

1 comment:

  1. You're definitely not alone in letting things go to be with your kids. And I for one, think you're doing everything right!