So today is day five of our two day stay to learn how to do an ng tube. I know other things came up, and am mostly grateful for how quickly it was all taken care of. But we are at the end of things really, and I'm getting more and more annoyed at the, 'oh, there's this so we need to see this doctor before you can go. and then this. and then...' leaving us being told, home saturday, sunday, monday, and now tomorrow. Although, I may actually throw a screaming fit if we don't get out tomorrow.
At this point Shilo is very steady. Pulmanology is supposed to come tomorrow to help figure out some of the oxygen stuff. And Jason and I have to take a class on CPR (uber annoying since we also had to do this before leaving UK with her when she was released), and learn how to use an apnea monitor. I am fine with these two things. However I am also pretty annoyed. Pulm. said they would be in today. So if our stay is longer because of this I will be speaking to someone about it. And the class is frustrating because when Jason came down Sunday he specifically asked if there would be something he would need to do if she had to come home on oxygen. We were told no, and that I could be trained on it.
So when the doctor came in today and told me that Jason had to take the class I was trying to clarify why I couldn't take it and take her home if I was trained. He finally just said, if he doesn't come take it tomorrow morning you will have to stay here longer. You can't go home unless you both take it.
He left and I started crying. He came back in a few minutes later, and when he realized I was upset tried to make me feel better with trite and patronizing comments. A few minutes later a social worker came in to see if I 'needed anything.' While that is kind in theory, you don't need to call a social worker just because I'm crying. I would imagine lots of parents who have kids in the hospital hit a point where they have a breakdown.
So tonight I'm going to feed Shilo every three hours, try to get some sleep, and be prepared to fight to get out of here tomorrow, even if it makes me unpopular. :)
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You have to know that your are as strong as they come mama! You are doing an amazing job taking care of Shilo and being her advocate. It's only natural to feel overwhelmed and frustrated at times...especially when progress towards leaving the hospital keeps stalling. Hang in there, you and your baby girl will be home soon. All of this will be a memory in due time, but until then just know that you are extremely capable of handling any situation that comes your way. But, I'm praying hard that all the variables that stand between you and your girl leaving the hospital will resolve at lightening speed. I bet we will see a beautiful picture of you, hubby, Abigal and Shilo celebrating Christmas AT HOME in no time. Keeping you in prayer.
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