As I sat reading in Psalms this afternoon I could feel my heart stirring. I love the way David writes so truthfully; how his emotions are so much like mine floating up and down with each new twist and turn of events. I also relate because I express my thoughts and emotions much better by writing them down.
After I layed the Bible down I sat there thinking and trying to pray. I say trying because with each fleeting thought all I could come back to was 'I don't know what to pray.' I don't know what to ask for on behalf of my sweet girl going into tomorrow. Peace, comfort, and mercy are almost always at the front of it. But beyond that what else do I ask for.
I can pray that they don't find anything, but in reality they might. I can pray that if they find something God is able to be glorified by our response as well as Abigail's response throughout her lifetime. I can pray for answers.
I then sat and thought about what do I ask for my friend's children with special needs? I generally pray whatever it is they ask for; healing, comfort, peace, and so on. But what if I ask for the wrong thing for my baby. What if I should be asking only for the strength to walk through, but I am asking for answers. And certainly there are no "wrong" prayers. God wants us to ask for things.
As I sat there thinking though, the sweet little prayers that Abigail prays flowed through my mind. They are often something like this, "Jeyah, Guy, boo-boo, help. Sarah, boo, ahhh! Mamal atar, cupcake. Noo noo ding ding. Amen."
I doubt very much of that made sense to any of you. But as her parent, I know what she is trying to say. I know what she is asking for, and I love that she just tells Jesus things. Sometimes her prayers are even more simple than that. I was then reminded of yesterday morning. We woke up to rain. Abigail loves to go outside when it's raining. By the time we ran our errand yesterday morning it had stopped. She asked me if I could make it rain and thunder. I responded by telling her that mama couldn't do it, but she could ask Jesus. She stopped as we were walking into the store and said, "Jeyah, rain, thunder. Amen." Last night as I was sitting on the couch and it began raining Jason looked at me and said, "Is that thunder?" I couldn't help but find the beauty in it. My sweet little girl asked Jesus to make it rain and thunder during a time of year where we are often seeing snow. And it did just that.
So after thinking all of this through I decided to try to pray more like my daughter. My prayer going into tomorrow is simply this, "Jesus, Abigail. Amen."
What do you pray for you children?