Abigail brushing her teeth in her big girl pajamas...I can do it by myself mama!!
I got an appointment for Abigail at the NF clinic!! WOO HOO!! Thanks to the advice of the aforementioned doctors Abigail will be going on November 3rd at 1:00. We should have an MRI before then to check for possible tumors already. We had an x-ray to check for tibial dysplasia (bowing) and it came back normal wich is GREAT. This is something that is possible but would be present from birth so it's nice to rule something out. We also have already been to our first eye doctor appointment and she doesn't have signs of optic gliomas (tumors on the optic nerves) which are a possibility but on the lower end of percentages or lisch nodules which are nearly gauranteed to happen at some point, but don't have any affect on eyesight. So really so far it's all been good news. It feels like I've been holding my breath for a while and am slowly starting to release it. With each new thing it feels a little less scary. Probably because most of the unknowns are becoming known...and even though a lot of them could still change over time it's nice to know what we are dealing with right now.
The biggest thing over the past few weeks has been the fear of a tumor on the spine. When we went to her nine month well check she wasn't using her legs like she should have been. The doctor ordered a spine and brain MRI because she thought it appeared to be neurological. We had our pastor and elders pray over her and have been praying as well and she is using her legs like she should be now. God has healed something in her. She crawled for the first time yesterday, is trying to pull herself up, can get herself into sitting position from her belly...all things that were not happening before and looked like unlikely possibilities for he near future. It's beautiful. I don't know if God healed the NF completely, or whatever was going on with her legs, or a tumor, or whatever, we do know that He showed up and did something awesome though. We have decided to go ahead with the MRI for various reasons that are more explanation than I want to type right now, but the fear I felt about it before is gone. It seems more like a technicality that is ordered for most patients with NF.
So on top of all of that I thought I would write a little about my thoughts from today. After lunch Abigail and I went and played in her bedroom. It's always a fun change of scenery and she loves it. As she was on the floor going from crawling a little to sitting to pulling herself up on my legs (with a little help) I kept thinking how grateful I am to be at home with her. All these things seem so miraculous with a child without anything hindering and feel even bigger to me now. I can't imagine someone else being the one to experience all of these first and then tell me about it. I would truly give up lots of stuff to get to be the one at home with her (although so far I haven't had to). I am grateful for a husband who supports this decision and who supports us financially. I know not all families are able to do this, but as I spend time with our baby girl I love being at home more everyday.
My last little blurp for today...after a bottle I usually rock Abigail and sing to her or read/tell a story before afternoon nap. Today I decided to tell her about her adoption (a story she gets told somewhat often). As I told her how much her tummy mommy loved her she looked over at the picture of her we have sitting in her room. I picked it up so she could hold it and she gave it a nice smooch with her love noise awawawawaw. It was beautiful. I used to worry about how I would feel about our child's birth parents. Would it feel like a competition, or struggle to love them...just the unknown. I can honestly say that I love Abigail's birthmom SO much. I have tons of respect for her and she will always have a hero sort of status in my heart. I love that our daughter already knows the words tummy mommy and relates them to this picture (even if she doesn't understand the concept yet). I am most glad that she also kisses this picture and I can't wait to tell her tummy mommy in our next update letter. There's no jealousy at all. I get lots of slobbery smooches often accomponied by her tongue and love noises, I can definately share them with the picture of the woman who loves her daughter enough to place her in our care.
Grateful for a selfless woman,