anyone who has ever been pregnant has had this conversation:
'do you know what you are having?'
'do you want a boy or a girl?'
'it doesn't matter to me.'
'as long as it's healthy....'
the last line actually makes me cringe. now, of course I don't want there to be something that causes my child to be unhealthy. but, when I hear 'as long as it's healthy' it feels a little bit like I would accept either gender, but not if they had any sort of disorder, or birth defect, or whatever any of the other millions of things are that can go wrong in pregnancy.
in our house, we will be thankful that we have the opportunity to parent another child. if it's a boy, well hooray for a whole new adventure. if it's a girl, *sigh of relief* I already feel equipped to navigate this boat (plus I have lots of clothes). if the baby is anything less than 100% healthy, we will be just as thankful for his or her life.
I know that when people say this, they mean well. they are not being rude. I'm not angry at them. but, honestly, it still makes me feel like my other two girls are seen as less desirable. too many of my friends have buried their children. some of them gave birth to children who were born sleeping. some of them only got to spend minutes or hours with their children. and, if you ask them, most of them would tell you that they wouldn't have been upset about dealing with a disorder. they just want their child. not a boy. not a girl. not a healthy baby. just their child.
as we near the time period when we would be able to find out what gender our baby will be, we do it knowing full well that we have not been given any sort of guarantees about this child, and the health of it. neither of our daughter's genetic disorders were 'caused' by anything more than a sperm or egg that had a chromosome on it that was a little wonky. it was nothing that either of their parents did. and, as a result, we have just as much of a chance of wonky chromosomes as their parents did.
so, what do we want? we want to get to parent this child. but, we make no big plans about who he or she will be. we will wait, and rejoice in the child we end up with. boy. girl. typical. just as weird as the rest of us. we will love our third child.