Public School.

Ten years ago, I laid on the floor of the spare room in our house.  Crying. Praying.  Begging.  All I wanted was to be a mother.  And we waited. And waited.  And we got the phone call. Appointments.  Ultrasounds.  Visits.  Phone calls.  A night in the hospital.  There she was.  Our big.  All round and beautiful.  We fell instantly for her.  Scooped her up and fought over who got to hold her. 
Then a diagnoses.  And hard stuff.  Handing her off to a surgeon to have the tumor removed in her leg.  Getting her back.  Watching her heal.  Rejoicing with a clear follow up.  Holding my breath with each MRI that it will be the one that gives us different news.
Becoming a big sister.  Then again.  Hospital stays for them.  And more hard stuff.
All this was filled in with books, parks, story times, friends, family, laughter, frustration, parenting failures, teaching, learning, television, bike riding, fevers, hugs, cooking, cleaning, eye rolling, life.

Seven years, and four months.  This child has been part of my every day.  Tomorrow, that changes.  I'm so excited for her.  For us. And sad.  How I will miss that child.  She's a smaller version of my personality.  Eye rolls and all.  She frustrates me like nobody else can.  And she reminds me each day of getting to become a mother.  Of my failures and my successes as a parent.
Here's to sending her out on a new adventure.

first day.

awesome first day outfit and smile.

working on math.

plenty of time to play with her sister.

and cook herself something yummy.

reading book.

done.

i must admit, i have been super nervous to see what our home school days would look like.  i'm certain that day one is not a good indicator of what every day will look like.  i'm also certain that we have made the best choice for our big.  she has lots of energy.  we had plenty of time to take breaks between subjects, eat lunch, play with her sister, and still get all of our work done.
i'm really excited to see what our year holds, and to watch my big learn all sorts of new things.  i'm also reminded just how much i love teaching my daughter.

*disclaimer* we did more than just math and reading.  that was all i took pictures of.

smart girl.

abigail now knows all of her presidents.  in order.  and not in order.  home girl is super duper smart.  the video is horrible because it's done with our webcam, but you'll get the gist (and get to see how very very high energy she is).

i mention this often, but we were told that the NF along with some other factors pretty much guarantee a learning disability if not a low i.q.  sometimes, doctors are wrong.  really, really wrong.

teaching big.

sometime over the last few months we came to a schooling decision for our big.  because of her age, and the way her birthday falls, she is slotted to start kindergarten in the fall of 2014.  however, she is able to do all things required to enter kindergarten right now.  she is completely incapable of sitting for long periods of time and doing work. public schools here no longer offer 1/2 day kindergarten.

we were at a crux.  i have always sort of wanted to home school.  it isn't because i think public schools, or school teachers are horrible.  actually quite the opposite.  it was simply because i like teaching my daughter.  i love watching her figure out new words, and knowing i got to be the one that helped her learn to read.
i also really love that if she's interested in something, we can go with it, where as in a school setting, she learns whatever they are learning at that time.  and because of no child left behind, and testing laws in our state, there are schools that aren't teaching subjects that won't be on the state testing because the schools funding depends solely upon test scores.  there are also children not getting any recess time because of preparing for test.   i believe children need time to run their energy out, dance, and they also need to learn things like history and science.
so we came to the conclusion that we would home school next year, and re-evaluate things as we go.  i already do preschool stuff with her very loosely, so i'm trying to have a little more focused time each day to prepare her for next year.  we have decided on some of our curriculum i think, but i'm also very excited about extra stuff that i'll get to teach as she shows interest.
when big was about one i found some flash cards in a dollar bin.  they were the presidents in order with dates they were in office and so on.  i figured some day they would come in handy.  she recently found them and wanted to do them.  so i have made up a song as we go, and we are learning the presidents.  when i say we, i mean both of us.  because i do not know all of them.  we are about a week in, and she can do the first seven.  i'm pretty sure she could learn anything if i put it in song form.

here's hoping my creative made up songs keep flowing over the next year!

Socialization.

All right, this post may not make me very popular. However as a woman who worked in a daycare setting, nannied, and is now a Mama trying to figure out what we want to do about schooling I get tired of hearing the same arguments over and over. So I decided to share my thoughts with the world.
Let me start by saying we have friends who have kids in public school, private schools, charter schools, and homeschool. I am watching the whole gamut available to me for education in the United States. We have NOT made a decision about what we will do with Abigail for schooling yet. We are having lots of conversations with each other and friends about what they like and don't like about each option. This is where my thoughts come in.
There is this thought process that lingers out there that children need to be with their peers so that they will be socialized. I think it's a load of manure. Think about all the things that you must do as an adult to be a functioning part of society. Go grocery shopping, go to the bank, pay your bills, wait in line, make phone calls to set up appointments, the list goes on and on. How did you learn to do those things? Did some one sit down and give you a hand out on how to grocery shop, or did you learn by going to the store with your parent, helping her get the things on the list, put stuff on the belt for check-out and then helping to pay (and learning about money and making change)?
I'm going to assume it was the second thing. Whenever someone tells me I need to send my kid somewhere for socialization I respond with this illustration. Lets say a group of aliens show up and want to learn to speak English. Most ESL teachers will tell you that while you can stick them in a classroom and have them practice with each other, it goes much better if they are immersed in English. Sticking 20 aliens in a classroom with one or two teachers who walk around and oversee them while they try to figure out how to talk to each other in English is not going to get the quickest results.
The other thing that maddens me about this is that the things they are being socialized in are bizarre to me. Here's my other example. Two toddlers in a preschool classroom both want the same toy. The teacher hears them arguing over it. The response is a) one gets it for two minutes, then the other, and so on and so on. or b) if you can't share the toy I'm taking it away. Let's project that out twenty + years. My neighbor comes over and says, I don't have a car, but you do so I want yours. Do we take turns with it? Does someone come and take it away from me because I won't let them use it? No. Do we have people who we share our car with at times. Absolutely. Do I want my daughter to learn to share. You bet. But the example above teaches my child nothing about sharing and the way it works in our society. It's not a social skill lesson, it's a convenience reaction (let's stop the fighting the easiest way possible). My daughter is best going to learn to share by watching the other people in her life (parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts and so on) share. When Abigail sees us let our friends use our car she is learning about sharing.
So let me follow my rant up with a couple of things. I whole heartedly believe children need peer interaction, and to learn how to obey adults outside of their parents. I don't think sending children to a preschool, or school with a regular classroom setting is bad. I just don't believe that this is how our children are 'socialized.' I mean in reality how is a child sitting in a classroom for eight hours listening to a teacher even a social setting. Their twenty minutes for recces and twenty minutes for lunch where they get to talk to their friends doesn't add up to much.
So next time someone tells you that they homeschool, or are thinking about homeschooling, don't make the socialization argument. It doesn't hold up if you put any thought into it. The reason you know homeschooled children who are socially awkward has less to do with them being homeschooled and more to do with them (likely) being either sheltered or from a family that is socially awkward anyway.

Just getting some thoughts out there,